Decorating for Cat Ladies, Second Verse

I can hear you clearly now: “You did what?!”

Yes, Cat Man and I have officially adopted an eight-month-old kitty who unexpectedly arrived in our backyard four months ago. We were not planning to begin anew after Lucius passed away, but life intervened. Enter the darling and persuasive Pye, and who could say no to six cats in our house again?

We haven’t been around kittens for so long that we forgot how truly tiny they are. Pye is about as petite as they come, and dainty, too. But I think she’s got a 'tude, which makes her a worthy successor to Lucius.

Pye’s holiday stocking is tangible proof that she is living among us at Catland, because we can’t take a photo of her hiding in between Catman’s dress shirts, which are hanging from the bottom rack of a dark closet in the guest bedroom. That image would not be terribly merry or bright.

Leo, Linus, L.B., and Alvar are almost panting like rubes in anticipation of meeting Pye. Lydia is fuming and plotting when to let the fur fly. I am betting on the first day that the guest-bedroom door opens.

Not a creature is stirring—not the case at Catland!

Decorating for Cat Ladies

Even though the weather outside is hardly frightful, just humid and yucky, the calendar indicates that it is time once again to decorate Catland for the holidays. Cat Man and I are listening to our favorite tunes, and I'm pretending that I live in New England, which means I get to drink a mug of peppermint hot chocolate.

This holiday season marks our first, in thirteen years, without Lucius. To honor the memory of our precious first cat, I commissioned a "mixed-media" wreath from Houston-based artist Marisa Avelar, who is also my colleague at the Museum of Fine Arts. Don't you think Marisa did an outstanding job?

She's a Cat Lady!

Photo by Lucy Nicholson/Reuters

I must admit that I don't care what people say about Miley Cyrus being a bad influence on their kids. So what if she isn't a proper lady? From the looks of this photo, captured at the American Music Awards this past Sunday night, she is a full-bore Cat Lady.

Whoever created Miley's look-at-meow outfit for the AMAs must have sold carbon copies by now to every Cat Lady who is seeking a competitive edge in the "feline fan" fashion department. And Miley even has a lip-synching kitty as her backup (as if she needs any reinforcement).

Am I the only Cat Lady who thinks that Miley may bring new meaning to "cat got my tongue"?

Power Outage

One of my worst nightmares occurred about an hour ago. Have you ever been in the midst of changing a litter box when your home loses its electricity?

I couldn't remember where I had stored our flashlights. Our disaster preparedness protocol is null and void. But I was bound and determined to have clean litter for our cats, come hell or high water or no power.  There needs to be a "Cat Lady Action Plan" for those of us who like to keep busy during our darkest hours. I made my way to the Lysol spray, all the while feeling annoyed.

L.B. was also extremely annoyed. I couldn't see him in the dark, yet I could hear him loud and clear. He was eating everything he could smell. I guess he reverted to his doomsday scenario, meaning
"tank up fast."

Now that power has been restored, L.B. is sleeping peacefully, and I can write to you once again from a well-lit Catland!

Wherefore Art Thou, Cat Lady?

Oh, I am here in Houston, Texas, and feeling extremely guilty about not being in touch with you for two months now. But the "art" part of my life took over, as the Museum published fast and furiously on subjects that range from bitter artistic rivals (catfights in the colonial art world!) to assemblages by Antonio Berni.

Back on the feline front, I remain confused by Panther. Or does he have an alter ego? Something is amiss in the backyard at Catland. Cat Man and I also recently greeted an adorable, probably six-month-old kitty, whom I have named Pye (after Pyewacket, of course). She has the sweetest tabby face and a tiny tortoiseshell body, and trapping her so as to proceed with shots and spaying is my Number 1 priority.

I am honored to be joining the opening celebrations tomorrow night at Save A Cat, a new, no-kill rescue shelter for felines. I was invited to sign copies of Cat Lady Chronicles, and I hope you will stop by to support the shelter's cause. The shelter is housed in a bungalow that is conveniently located across the street from a Petsmart store on Alabama at Shepherd. Please come and adopt your new best feline friend for life! And let's you and I be catty in the best sense of the word.

The Panther Trap

No, I haven't yet trapped Panther, the stray black cat

who visits our backyard almost every morning, usually at 5:45 a.m. and never later than 6:30 a.m., to tank up for the day.

I have made considerable progress trying to tame Panther during the past eight months. But trapping him eludes my grasp. He is far too feral and wily.

What concerns me even more is whether Panther has a body double. Cat Man has a theory that there are in fact two Panthers, sort of like the identical twins that Hayley Mills played in The Parent Trap. Who knows, maybe Panther, in a previous life, saw the 1961 film and was inspired. As usual, I am dating myself, although I like to think Panther purposely chose a Cat Lady of a certain age to initiate him into the ways of the domestic world.

So, why does Panther let me pet his head on some mornings, whereas he rebuffs me on other mornings? He loves me, he loves me not. And he hisses when he plays the Evil Twin. Lots of fireworks at the crack of dawn!

Still, I want to help get Panther off the streets of Houston and to find him a safe home. I came across a photo from Vogue, c. 1962, that might also inspire Panther to think seriously about committing to a future life of indoor bliss.

The Cat Lady Recap

Is there ever a slow news day when it comes to our own cats or those felines who make headlines? I can’t keep up! I apologize for being so slow on the blogger’s draw this month. Here is a quick recap of the weeks that were.

Does your cat like to play with “feline-appropriate” apps on your iPad or other mobile device? I was not surprised to learn from a Wall Street Journal article that app developers are selling “Game for Cats” on iTunes, with great success. At our house, L.B. prefers laptops—traditionalist that he is—and insists that closing the deal for treats, treats, and more treats works best when he sits on top of the keyboard rather than on a flat screen whose width is much smaller than that of his waistline(sorry to be so blunt, L.B., because I do appreciate your efforts to diet). Put simply, L.B. does not need an app to be challenged mentally or to get his point across to his caregivers.

I have suspected for a long time that Lillie was a hair stylist before she was reincarnated as one of the most sensual feline creatures imaginable. Because the heat and humidity in Houston are reaching their most uncomfortable levels right now, I am experimenting with some new hair-care products. Lillie recognizes the scent of newly washed hair, and she always wants me to lower my head close to her nose so that she can inhale the perfumes that invigorate styling gels and “frizz-busting cremes.” Of course, Lillie also likes that I bow in deference to her authority as the reigning beauty of Catland.

That’s not to say that Lydia has lost her looks. In fact, she found a new method this month of keeping her little fanny from a fate worse than death, otherwise known as the middle-age-woman’s “spread.” Just say the word “massager,” and Miss Lydia comes running to my feet or to Cat Man’s. She is ready for some serious massaging, courtesy of an electric back-rubbing wand. Note to self: Never underestimate Lydia’s insatiable need for undivided attention.

When it comes to highly profitable attention, how about the street cat named Bob, who is nothing short of a babe magnet? I saw a brief video of author James Bowen and his beloved Bob working the crowds at a bookstore signing to launch the U.S. distribution of A Street Cat Named Bob. There were a lot of women waiting on line to snap pictures of the once-lonely and injured stray cat who has achieved his deserved fame and fortune.

Mr. Bowen’s literary agent revealed in Sunday’s New York Times Book Review that much of the success of the book can be attributed not only to its heartfelt tale of redemption, but to this golden rule: “Also, a lot of people just. Love. Cats.” You. Think?

I was delighted to find an active forum for cat lovers on Squidoo: http://www.squidoo/com/-crazy-cat-lady-reasons. I was even more delighted to discover that Cat Lady Chronicles had made the cut as recommended reading for “crazy cat ladies.” I am taking this designation to mean “crazy-passionate for cats,” and I am indeed proud to be in such “demented” company.

There is no better validation of a Cat Lady’s cause than the paws-up praise offered by a cat. Meet Walter, an exceedingly handsome feline who was rescued about 18 months ago after being abandoned on a street in Houston’s Heights neighborhood.

Walter has been living very comfortably at The Cat Doctor’s clinic ever since, but he would still like to find a home with a full-time Cat Lady or a Cat Man at his beck and call. Apparently, when Walter makes his daily rounds at the clinic to stretch his legs, he likes to pause and read a chapter or two from my book. Thank you, Walter, for the not-so-subtle endorsement. If you know of a kind soul who could give Walter a new home, please contact me. I would be honored to make the introduction.