"Totality"

Because I refer to Lucius as my BFF, I was curious when I saw the headline “Best Friend Forever” in this past Sunday’s New York Times Book Review. Was someone writing about my first cat? I had my suspicions.

Every Cat Lady knows that a dog is considered man’s best friend, but cats keep gaining ground. In fact, the Anti-Cruelty Society in Chicago has recently launched a new campaign about adopting felines, with the theme of “man’s new best friend.” I couldn’t agree more.

So who is the mysterious best friend forever? Rin Tin Tin, of course. Susan Orlean’s new book about “the life and the legend” of the famous German shepherd who took Hollywood by storm is getting lots of favorable press. While reading the book review, I was struck not only by the tenderhearted anecdotes about the remarkable Rin Tin Tin but also by the mention of journalist J. Allen Boone, who was “totally” obsessed with his beloved dog Strongheart, a German shepherd who starred in movies during the 1920s.

I put the word “totally” in quotation marks because just in case you are thinking that Boone was the male ancestor of the Valley Girl, think again. Boone had his own theory of the animal-human bond, which he named “Totality.” He would not accept anyone referring to Strongheart as “dead,” even after the animal had indeed died.

I like the idea of “totality,” of our perfect oneness with an animal, or two, or ten. Naturally, there are extreme exceptions to the rule—the reviewer comments that Boone is a reminder of “what real derangement looks like”—and then there are people like us who simply love cats with all of our hearts and souls. Whether we convey these intense emotions silently or boisterously, the choice is “totally” ours.

Query of the Day: Do you have a favorite moment of “Totality” with your cat?

Lost Cat, Found Hunk

Last night, after tucking in the cats, I turned on the TV in search of something new and stimulating.

You won’t be surprised to learn that what hooked me in the first episode of “Case Histories,” on Masterpiece Mystery, was the opening scene in which a tough, but kindhearted, detective tries to find a lost cat. Of course, a lost cat is neither a new nor an abstract concept to me. Been there and done that, times ten, plus another seven rescues—all from our backyard.

And, not surprisingly, the Cat Lady on screen played to stereotype. Nothing new about a nutty Cat Lady, complete with bulging eyes and disheveled hair. Cats surrounded her, except for the one that had got away.

But as for the stimulating—the tall, dark, and handsome actor named Jason Isaacs—well, I think every Cat Lady needs one like him in her backyard.

Query of the Day: Would you hire a private detective to find a lost cat?

Microchip Me?

I did not intend to be away from Ten Cat Alley for so long. My leave of absence was completely unscheduled, and Lucius did not approve it.

But in case you think you need to implant a microchip in my upper left arm to keep track of my whereabouts, have no fear.

In the immortal words of every stray tomcat I've encountered (and there have been many, as you know), I'll be back.

Why, You Two-Faced…

Cat!

I am sure that you, like many people around the world, did a double-take when images of Frank and Louie hit the airwaves today. The exotic cat who has two faces was entered into the Guinness World Record for being the longest-living member of a rare breed known as Janus cats.

At age 12, Frank and Louie is a senior citizen. He may not carry an AARP card, but think about only a few of his many benefits:

Three eyes for scoping female felines!

Two noses for smelling and sniffing sardines!

Two mouths for eating treats!

The New York Daily News refers to Frank and Louie as a “creepy kitty,” an oddity, whereas I would bet on this cat as the odds-on favorite to win every Cat Lady’s heart.

Query of the Day: Have you ever seen a two-faced cat?

“Do-over”

I should have known there was a full moon when I heard the familiar sound of two cats mating outside—in our driveway, to be blunt. I had been having trouble sleeping and was tossing fitfully, and I was so out of it that I thought I was hearing outtakes from recent televised political debates (of all things). This is the truth: I could not suppress the voice of Michele Bachmann saying, and I can’t remember the exact quote, but you get the idea, “There are no ‘do-overs’ at the White House.”

Well, at Catland, I am not looking for an immediate "do-over," either, as the “No Vacancy” shingle remains in effect and enforceable with Cat Man. But any Cat Lady knows that two cats mating can mean a litter of kittens on the horizon.

And yet… would I do this—this full-time “business” of being Cat Lady—again, at some point in the near future, starting over with a new family and writing a new group biography? I think I can now hear the high-pitched voice of Sarah Palin speaking to me directly: You Betcha!

Query of the Day: Are you in the “do-over” mode and wanting more cats?

First Mother

It’s a rare day that I get to have a reunion with a cat whom I rescued years ago—that is, a cat who does not live with Cat Man and me.

I was thrilled to receive an invitation from my friend and colleague Keelin to “come over and see Bella.” I first met Bella during the summer of 2009, in the backyard of Catland, where so many of the neighborhood’s stray cats have sensed they could find me. Like other lost cats, Bella was famished and severely dehydrated. Because she was so petite, I assumed she was only a kitten. I was able to work with Bella for several weeks to earn her trust, and the always sympathetic Dr. O. let me board Bella at a discounted rate until I could identify a fellow Cat Lady to become Bella's second mother.

“All systems go” was the verdict for the lovely, 2 1/2-year-old Bella, and I was eager to find a permanent loving home for her. I was and remain grateful to Keelin for coming forward to adopt Bella. The two live together in a spacious apartment in one of Houston’s historic districts, and Bella’s comfort is never in doubt.

If truth be told, my reunion with Bella did not go exactly as planned, at least in my mind. I thought I would call out “Bella, remember me?” and that she would run toward me excitedly. To be sure, I used the Cat Lady voice to coax her. No sign of Bella. She was hiding underneath Keelin’s bed. Bella is apparently skittish around Keelin’s friends, and Bella also is known to emerge from hiding once said friends leave the premises.

Keelin brought Bella to me. I was able to stroke this precious kitty’s head again and to look Bella directly in the eyes. I will never know if the sound of my voice scared her—was I just another stranger invading her turf?—or if it brought back memories of a rescue mission that began on one sultry day in July. What I do know unequivocally is that my own inner voice told me that I had to rescue Bella.

Query of the Day: How do you persuade your cat to come out of hiding?

Face It

I took a day off from work this week (paid employment, that is) to catch up on my full-time duties as Cat Lady. Our ten cats seem to be going through a new phase of life in which they randomly reject certain flavors of wet food. So back to PetSmart I go, with my nearly scroll-length itemized receipt in hand, explaining yet again to the nice young man at the cash register that our cats have gone on a solidarity strike. As of August 31, no more “tender liver and chicken,” please.

A day off would not be complete without serious retail therapy. PetSmart does not count. The Galleria here offers almost every name-brand store under the sun (luckily, all air-conditioned stores), and one of my favorite stores is only five minutes away from Houston’s shopping mecca. I always find an excuse to head to Target.

When I entered my neighborhood Target, I was dazzled by the displays of leopard-patterned scarves, belts, and hats. The spot-on look is proving to be a lasting one in the fashion industry, and a Cat Lady can count on dressing well this fall. No less an authority than the New York Times’s style magazine recently proclaimed 2011 as “The Year of the Cat.” I could have told you so.

If beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder of felines, then I feel obliged to get with the program this year and fully line my eyes with black kohl.

Query of the Day: Will Lucius et al. approve of their Cat Lady’s stylish feline eyes?