Monday, January 23, 2012

Fat Cats

With all the talk about fat cats dominating the headlines, I can’t help but think of my own fat cats.

L.B. used to be our only fat cat, the chairman of the 1 percenters’ club devoted to feline gluttony. Doesn’t he look, well, beefy? Sort of Gingrichesque? Keeping him company now are Leo, Linus, and Alvar. What’s a Cat Lady to do to keep her kitties slim and trim?

There is no pork, literally, in the prescription-only, dietetic -maintenance dry food that I purchase each month for my fat-cat foursome. The Catland budget is increasingly lean when it comes to the line item for treats, and although L.B., Leo, Linus, and Alvar are fearlessly hungry at all hours, they have given up campaigning for extra portions of food whenever the mood suits them. Debating is not allowed; politely dissenting meows are tolerated on a limited basis.

An audit of Cat Lady’s joint 2010 tax returns with Cat Man will indicate that there are no offshore accounts for harboring funds with which to feed overweight felines. No, the buck stops at Catland, and my biggest resolution for 2012 is to transform four hefty cats into lightweights.

“Fat Cats No More” is our personal bumper sticker, but don’t be surprised if I write again soon that L.B., Leo, Linus, and Alvar are into some serious lobbying.

Query of the Day: Who’s your favorite fat cat?

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