Will the Real Cat Lady Please Stand Up?

What does a Cat Lady look like? What does a Cat Lady wear?

These are among the questions that I am asked frequently, especially now that I have written a memoir about being a Cat Lady.

In Cat Lady Chronicles, I did not portray a composite figure or attempt to describe myself as the personification of the fascinating photograph pictured here. All I was equipped to do was to tell my own story, and I am gratified that my “Catland” has become yours.

We have universal tales to share, but that is not to say there should be a definitive, “I-can-spot-one” personality profile of a Cat Lady. I would be hard-pressed to pick the “real Cat Lady” in a crowded room. The one seated—not the one already standing—could be ready to pounce and to make maximum impact upon landing.

My new year’s resolution is to continue my always interesting conversations with Cat Ladies and to revel in the glory of all things feline. If you are just getting started as a Cat Lady, 2013 promises to be full of rewarding opportunities.

Query of the Day: Party hat or velvet cat ears for tonight’s celebration?

Pictured above: Wanda Wultz, Io + Gatto, 1932, Alinari Archive, Florence, Italy

Merry Christmas, Leo

Long before I became a Cat Lady, I confess to having quietly hummed a few of the opening bars from "My Favorite Things." I'm sure you know the ones I mean: Those "whiskers on kittens" bring back fond memories of simple times and childhood innocence, of waiting for Santa to come for cookies and milk, and, of course, to deliver some hoped-for presents under the holiday tree.

One of our ten cats sits peacefully under the tree without fail, every year. Ever since Leo spent his first Christmas here at Catland, in 2001, he has ushered in the season with an unforgettable spirit of playfulness and generosity.

I'll never forget the Christmas morning when I asked him if he knew what was about to happen that day. Leo responded by grabbing (he has huge paws) a Santa ornament from the tree and tossing it by his plate. I am not kidding. As if on cue in December, Leo's whiskers function as Santa-tracking radar.

Leo also loves to share his toys on the biggest gift-getting day of all. While Lucius pushes his loot of catnip mice and shiny crinkles into a corner, all the while perfecting his hoarder routine, Leo distributes his spoils.

I wrote in my Cat Lady Chronicles that Leo quickly became our cat who loved Christmas, and I am a bit haunted wondering still why he has such an affinity for the holiday.

If you believe that a cat has nine lives, and most of us Cat Ladies do, then I suspect you will not make fun of me for cherishing the thought that Leo experienced some form of Christmas before he entered our life as a kitten. Perhaps Santa simply scratched his beard a few times, and then he made his glorious decision.

Thank you, Santa, for sending Leo our way.

Query of the Day: Which of your cats loves Christmas best?

Back on the Beat

I’m back on the beat, and it’s great to be here.

I took several weeks off to prepare Catland for the holidays, and I also was in need of a personal “reboot.” I think all of us Cat Ladies can relate. Sometimes the need to be on-call for felines is overwhelming because our duties converge at once. Also, a certain alpha named Lucius had indicated that he was looking for even more “incessant stroking” to keep his spirits jolly and bright.

At this time of the year, material temptations are also potentially overwhelming. Don’t get me wrong; I am a firm believer in retail therapy. But, as this year draws to a close, I am thinking especially about the infinite gifts of unconditional love that our cats deliver to us every day. As Cat Ladies, we have our own version of “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

My reboot worked, and I was reminded recently of the simple joy of being a Cat Lady when I read an opinion piece by Peggy Noonan. She had asked a colleague, who serves as an editor of a news site, about what makes him grateful. He lives near a forest and responded that he is grateful for “love, nature, and innocence.” She wrote back and rephrased the question slightly. Yes, but, “what do you love right now?” He replied with a photo of his beloved cat, appropriately named Buddy. He went on to write that, while the topsy-turvy world of news is spinning around him 24/7, he looks to Buddy to help him “slow down” and to savor each moment. Buddy’s world “ends up being the preferred reality.”

I guess it goes without saying that I, too, prefer the reality of a life surrounded by cats.

Query of the Day: Do your cats allow you to slow down during the holidays?

Lucius for President

I love that Hank, the now-famous feline from Springfield, Virginia, placed third in a seat for the U.S. Senate. As part of his write-in campaign for the senatorial post, Hank netted $60,000 for animal-rescue causes dear to his heart. Way to go, Hank!

Tabulating votes for a tabby led me to think…that I should nominate Lucius for President of the United States of Catland. I feel certain that his platform of “Me, Myself, and I” would appeal to other felines casting their votes based primarily on personal paw appeal.

Here’s a funny photo that a friend sent to me in honor of Election Day last Tuesday. No matter in what U.S. state we may have cast our ballots, the vote is in, and, big surprise: Cats Rule!

Query of the Day: Has a cat ever run (and chased…and hunted…) for Senate in your hometown?

Catoberfest 2012

What more could a Cat Lady have asked for on a cold “Caturday” in late October, when The Cat Doctor veterinary clinic hosted its annual client-appreciation event, “Catoberfest”?


I had a terrific time mingling with Dr. Caroline Oeben’s clients, who represent a wide range of cat lovers in the Houston community. As always, Dr. O. and her team were great ambassadors for felines.

I enjoyed learning about new feline products on the market, and I especially enjoyed playing with the cats available for adoption. Cat Man was manning the fort, ensuring that these cats would get noticed. Three cats were adopted, plus a one-month-old kitten who literally had just been rescued from a major intersection in downtown Houston. Meet Sophie, who knows she is a beauty. Seeing her reminds me of a recurring thought: Are the words “kitten” and “adorable” synonymous in your dictionary?

I also am excited to report that Dr. O.’s clients embraced
Cat Lady Chronicles with open arms. The MFAH Shop was invited to set up a satellite booth at the clinic and succeeded in selling nearly 50 copies. Meow! Twenty percent of the proceeds were donated to the Rescue Fund at The Cat Doctor.

Thanks to Dr. O. for a wonderful Catoberfest, and Happy Halloween to all!

Query of the Day: Will your cats greet trick-or-treaters tonight?

Masquerade

I think I have finally found a way to mask those, um, recurring odors that waft mightily from the litter boxes at Catland.

While visiting Target yesterday, I noticed a special promotion for Glade’s new and limited-edition fall collection of room fragrances. I bought the Rosemary Sage deodorizer spray, which I now realize smells a bit too much like a spice-infused turkey roasting in the oven. I am reserving this scent for Thanksgiving Day, just to reinforce the aromas in the kitchen.

The Maple Pumpkin spray is another story; it’s made for a pre-Halloween dousing at home. My cats love me even more because the scent makes them think I am about to dispense treats coated with maple syrup.

Glade describes its maple pumpkin flavor-of-the-month fragrance as “decadent.” I would advise that you use the spray sparingly, because a little goes a very long way. Or, if you want your house to smell like a Michaels craft store, then spray forcefully, and to your heart’s content.

Query of the Day: Can you believe I am writing about something other than a stray cat’s spray? Thankfully!

Memory

Before you start thinking, “Oh, no, don’t tell me she’s going there,” yes, I am going there. But let me explain.

I am not a Cats groupie, by any means. I saw the Broadway production once, when it first debuted, in 1982, only a few years after I graduated from college and was living in a tiny studio apartment on the Upper East Side. I remember bringing my 12-year-old brother, Matt, to a Saturday matinee. We ate lunch first at my favorite neighborhood coffee shop, the Viand, and then took a bus down Fifth Avenue and across town to the Winter Garden Theatre. I suppose I was training for my current Mama Kitty role–though I could not know it, then—because I am much older than Matt and felt protective of him as I led him through the bustling and noisy streets of the big city.

Interestingly, a few of my friends who have read Cat Lady Chronicles have referenced the TV commercials that accompanied the longest-running musical of all time, in which people leaving the theatre gushed about Cats’s “awesome” multisensory production values. One friend wrote, “I laughed, I cried, and I can honestly say that I enjoyed the experience better than Cats.” Are you listening, Andrew Lloyd Webber?

Now, thirty years after the first Broadway performance of Cats, I have grown up to become Cat Lady, and my first cat, Lucius, can only reminisce about his youthful “days in the sun.” I, too, cherish my memories of those early days of discovering why I love cats. I am buoyed by that love, and, thanks to my feline family, I most certainly “understand what happiness is.”

Query of the Day: Is "Memory" your favorite song from Cats?

"O Romeo, Romeo! ...”

I have many BFFs in the feline world, and then, there is the one-and-only Romeo. As “The Bard” himself wrote, "Did my heart love till now?”

Why do I love Romeo so much? Let me explain. Most of my friends who are authors serve as curators at art museums. They are accustomed to having their books reviewed in scholarly journals. I am willing to bet that not one of my friends has received a paws-up endorsement like the one I received from Romeo. http://www.romeothecat.com/2012/10/05/cat-lady-chronicles

I am extremely flattered that Romeo has encouraged feline enthusiasts to read my Cat Lady Chronicles. In fact, Romeo confessed that his “staff” could not put the book down. I owe you one, Romeo!

Query of the Day: Does your cat write and publish book reviews?

Downstairs Upstairs

What a difference a preposition makes.

In my book Cat Lady Chronicles, I have brought together reproductions of cats from diverse museum collections worldwide. And what about certain cats who live literally in museums as opposed to those who historically have come alive on canvas?

Several museum registrars tipped me off to a fascinating New Yorker blog post this week by Sally McGrane about cats living in the Hermitage in St. Petersburg—specifically, cats who hang out in the museum’s basement, several floors below where the famed collections are displayed. Extraordinarily dedicated museum employees care for these previously undomesticated, nearly starving creatures.

Cats roaming the halls of museums are taboo, for obvious reasons. But cats featured in art that hangs on the walls of prestigious galleries is a different matter altogether.



 Take, for example, one of Jean-Baptiste-Siméon Chardin’s genre scenes, The Washerwoman (c. 1733–39). Recently discovered by Toledo Museum of Art curator Lawrence Nichols, who made his "out-of-sight" find in a private collection in France, this small painting is described by critic and independent curator Karen Wilkin as a wonderful example of “Chardin’s magic.” What attracts me to the painting most? The well-fed calico cat, of course, who appears to be dutifully protecting his Cat Lady.

Long live the cat-and-museum connection, whether downstairs or upstairs.

Query of the Day: Would this painting be complete without a cat up front?

Staring Down the Competition

What were the odds that E.L. James—yes, that E.L. James—would be signing copies in Houston of her hugely successful books on the same night that a Cat Lady was signing copies of her debut book, Cat Lady Chronicles?

I am not angry with the Master Scheduler of Book-Signings. It’s good to face the competition head-on. I was very grateful to be hosted by Jeanne Jard and Mike Jones at the River Oaks Bookstore, where I was delighted to meet a hard-core group of Cat Ladies. Each has a soft spot in her heart for felines, and, as was the case at The MFAH Shop, I loved signing copies for their cats.

And, for those in search of something slightly naughty, well, there are two naked ladies in my book. Tastefully and artistically naked, that is. Here is Félix Vallotton’s Laziness (La Paresse), a woodcut dated 1896, from the collection of the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston.

Query of the Day: Coming soon, Sexy Shades of White Cats?

Thank you, Houston!

Yes, I’m sure “It’s Good to Be the King,” but I can report—with a certain degree of authority—that it’s good to be a Cat Lady today!

Thank you, Houston, for launching Cat Lady Chronicles. We had a terrific turnout for this past Saturday’s program, when Cat Ladies and Cat Men dodged torrential rain to pledge their allegiance to cats.

I want especially to thank Marco Jellinek, my publisher, at Officina Libraria, and my distribution team at the Antique Collectors’ Club: John Brancati, Sudha Dunienville, Jennifer Burch, and Patrick Kanaley. It has been a great privilege  collaborating with them to tell my story, which, in turn, is already prompting people to share their tales of their beloved cats.

I wasn’t at all surprised to inscribe so many books in the names of caregivers’ cats. I hope JoJo and Mr. Whiskers and Gracie and many others are enjoying a gentle read as I write. Needless to say, I assured Lucius that he remains Number 1 and gave him the first signed copy of my book. Did I have a choice?

Finally, I was particularly grateful for the comment that one young woman made when she approached me to sign a copy of her book. I am paraphrasing here: “I used to be embarrassed to call myself a Cat Lady, but you have given me a brand-new perspective.”

Photo credit: © 2012 JIH

Query of the Day: Have you shared your “I love cats” testimonial with me yet? It's time!

It’s a Book!!

Yes, it’s official, the baby has been born and was delivered to Houston!

I am excited to write that copies of Cat Lady Chronicles are on sale now at The MFAH Shop of the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston. Here I am with my friend and colleague Bernard Bonnet, the bookstore's expert buyer.

Watch for lots of book promotions soon, many coming to a social-media platform near you.

Meanwhile, please keep those cards and good wishes coming. I am very grateful and, just like a cat, am lapping up the attention.

Query of the Day: Have you marked your calendar for my Museum District Day program this Saturday at 2:00 p.m., at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston? Pets on leashes are not permitted in the auditorium, but unleashed Cat Ladies are most welcome!

Opposition Research

While the Democrats hold their convention this week and size up the competition, I’m doing some opposition research of my own. Not surprisingly, mine deals with cats—specifically, books about cats.

The good news is that, for all of us cat lovers, there are a lot of new books on the market—at all price points and on multiple platforms. The bittersweet news for me, personally, is that Cat Lady Chronicles must compete with Julia’s Cats and Henri, le Chat Noir. How to go up against two legends?

It’s too late to introduce an alternative cover for my book. Let’s face it: Diane’s Cats would probably go nowhere on the sales charts, although I, too, like to wear a cozy cardigan (à la Julia) and could be persuaded to pose with any one of my ten photogenic cats. As for the angst- and ennui-ridden Henri, well, the always tormented Lucius would win that battle hands-down.

Perhaps the best way to enter the marketplace is simply to hold my head high and to repeat my favorite mantra: I am proud to call myself a Cat Lady. Gourmet cooks and caregivers of high-maintenance felines are encouraged to read my book and, I hope very much, will relate to what I have to say about cats. On the universally popular subject of cats, I feel certain we are bonded for life, and I don’t anticipate finding any protestors on the floor.

Query of the Day: On average, how many books about cats do you buy each year?

Firing Up the Base!

Are you planning to throw some charcoals on the fire this
Labor Day weekend for one final barbecue of the summer?

Here, in always sizzling Houston, I am laboring behind the scenes, working on my talk for the official launch of Cat Lady Chronicles on September 15. I hear that the Museum of Fine Arts is expecting a lively crowd, and why should I be surprised?

Something tells me that I won’t need to fire up the base just two weeks from tomorrow. Nor will I require a warm-up act or a keynote speaker. Put simply, we Cat Ladies are passionate about our pets, and we like to cheer on our fellow feline enthusiasts. I am eager to share my personal story.

To get a sneak peek of Cat Lady Chronicles, now listed as a “Hot Release” on Amazon, click here and look inside the book:http://www.amazon.com/gp/new-releases/books/5045

Query of the Day: Don’t you agree that cat ladies are hot?

Fifty Shades of Grey...Tabby

If only..., if only I had been clever enough to capitalize on the shades of grey that envelop me at Catland.

Listen up Lydia, L.B., and T.J.: You three are exotic grey tabbies, and you weren't looking out for your Cat Lady.

Why didn't at least one of you coerce me into changing the title of my forthcoming book to incorporate even a touch of grey?

That's not to say that my Cat Lady Chronicles (please preorder today; www.amazon.com/) is lacking in the lust department. Perhaps I should change the book description: "A Cat Lady meets a wandering tomcat who seduces a sex kitten, and the rest is cat-world history."

Query of the Day: How about Ten Tails of Grey, and One Cat Lady?

Stimulus Package

Although Lucius et al. never require appetite stimulants, sometimes our cats respond more excitedly to certain foods than to others. At the moment, Fancy Feast’s “Gravy Lovers” canned cat food is doing the job.


Each 3-oz. can is packed with morsels of chicken, beef, turkey, or seafood floating in a sea of gravy. Our cats salivate when they see me open the pantry door and bring out their new and favorite stimulus packages.


Query of the Day: What stimulates your cats’ appetites?

Whiskey Kitty

I’ve heard of a whiskey voice, and I’ve listened to several people who have whiskey voices. Perhaps that is why my ears perked up when I heard that my brother-in-law, Mark, adopted a kitty and named him “Whiskey Kitty.”


This was not an easy, cross-town adoption. Mark transported Whiskey Kitty on a flight from El Paso to Austin, deplaning in Dallas for a layover that must have felt better after a beer or two. Even the regulars at the airport bar took note of Mark’s business companion-in-a-carrier. It turns out that Whiskey Kitty was the ultimate business traveler, though there is no need for him to accrue mileage points. He has found himself a loving home.


Query of the Day: Isn’t Whiskey Kitty adorable?

A Saturnine Cat

What does a saturnine cat look like? I have never had an occasion to think about, much less respond to, this question, but I was inspired to do some research after reading a review in yesterday’s Wall Street Journal about a new exhibition, Nature in America: Taming the Landscape, presented at the Frances Lehman Loeb Art Center in Poughkeepsie, New York.



Critic Barrymore Laurence Scherer cites an untitled pen-and-ink drawing from 1933 by Rosella Hartman, and he writes that the artist “depicts the smooth, sensual contours of her two [nude] figures and their saturnine cat.” Hmmm. Check out the slideshow, #10: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702303343404577519101725598594.html#slide/10

Here is a translation, from art critic to Cat Lady: According to my unofficial Guide to Feline Body Language, that’s simply a self-absorbed cat.




Query of the Day: Is your cat saturnine?

On Shifts and Sheaths

I am way too old to take the “wee-hours-of-the-morning” shift for a cat who must have spent one of his lives as a howling baby.


L.B. was diagnosed recently with an extreme form of diabetes, and he is not having an easy time coping. Because of his excessive thirst—our first sign of the onset of the illness—, L.B. awakens every day at 3:00 a.m. and howls or bays at the moon. He does not wish to drink water from any of the ceramic bowls stationed around the house. No, L.B. wants me to turn on the faucet in the sink of the master bathroom (L.B. IS the master) so that he can sit in the sink and let the water splash around him. Did I mention that he likes to perform this routine at 3:00 a.m.?

I am so tired that I cannot see straight, and I find that, while stationed dutifully by L.B.’s side, my mind wanders. Last night, I fantasized that I had splurged on this Elie Tahari shift/sheath that I saw at Neiman Marcus. What Cat Lady could resist the extra touch of the leopard-print midriff? At this rate, a snorkeling suit might be more appropriate.


Query of the Day: Is No-Doze still on the market?

Staycation

Why do I keep focusing on the word "cat" within the conjured word "staycation"?

Must be because I do not travel far from home, purely because of ten cats who need their Cat Lady at all times. More like a dog obeying his or her master, I "stay," faithfully, whenever I take a vacation from the office.

Query of the Day: Can you relate?

The Cat Lady Challenge

Take me on. Go ahead.

I challenge anyone who does not believe that art imitates life, and, often, vice versa. See what I mean?

Here is a page from the U.S. edition of Vogue, in which a fashionable Cat Lady was photographed recently by Raymond Meier for a feature titled the “Cat’s Meow.” And, a loud meow, please: Here is the cover design for my forthcoming book, Cat Lady Chronicles, published by Officina Libraria and distributed by the Antique Collectors' Club. The work reproduced is from the collections of my employer, the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston. Cat Prowling Around a Staked Tomato Plant was created by Japanese artist Takahashi Shotei in about 1932.

My book is due in brick-and-mortar as well as virtual stores this fall, with the official publication date confirmed for September 16. I am eager to share with you, fellow Cat Ladies (and Gentlemen), my feel-good story about the fascinating human-animal bond (x ten). I am very pleased to be donating a percent of proceeds to cat-welfare causes.

Query of the Day: Will you “like” me and preorder my book? I will be very grateful!http://issuu.com/accpublishinggroup/docs/usa_fall_catalog_2012?mode=a_p

Mani-Pedi or a Pawdicure?

I just learned from reading today’s New York Times about another forthcoming book that is required reading: Zoobiquity: What Animals Can Teach Us About Health and the Science of Healing, by Barbara Natterson-Horowitz and Kathryn Bowers.


I think non-scientifically about this subject often. In fact, I came across an artwork recently that reinforces one of the authors’ many enlightening theses:


“Grooming represents a hard-wired drive, one that’s evolved over millions of years with the positive benefits of keeping us clean and binding us socially.”


Did you know that cats have long subscribed to a favorite girly-girl, super-grooming indulgence: pedicures? The image from the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston (at right), Popular Hotspring Spa for Cats, by the 19th-century Japanese artist Utagawa Kunitoshi, puts a fine point on the shared animal-human appreciation for, shall we say, a polished form of cleanliness.


Query of the Day: Do your cats like to have pawdicures?

Ring around the Kitty

The old-fashioned etiquette books always agree: It's best to keep your laundered linen napkin folded neatly on your lap.


But what happens when your cat jumps on your lap, possibly displacing the napkin? Maybe the cat needs to go inside the napkin...ring? See Exhibit A, a handsome Victorian example. 

Query of the Day: Do you collect cat napkin rings?

Wartime Truce

I never thought I would see the day that Lucius would extend an olive branch to Alvar. Because timing is everything to Lucius, he could not have picked a better moment.

This Memorial Day, as we reflect on reconciliation and on honoring those who gave their lives in service to our nation, I am doubly celebrating. Lucius and Alvar are reclining beside each other, getting some sun in a window that overlooks our neighbor's backyard. I promise to document this unimagined "coming together," so stay tuned.

Meanwhile, hope you are enjoying a peaceful holiday weekend with family, friends, and furry kids.

Query of the Day: What is the longest stare-down you have endured among warring cats?

Is Lucius on Pinterest?

I ask because, I found this image pinned above Lucius’s litter box. I think he is trying to send me a not-so-subliminal message:

Guess who wishes you looked like this Cat Lady?

Query of the Day: Am I entitled to dream?

Instacat!

Oh, If only I had the moxie and the money of Mark Zuckerberg. What would I do immediately, you might ask? I would sell my fantasy company Instacat to Facebook’s founder. And, like the creators behind the photo-sharing start-up Instagram, I would ask $1 billion for it. Instacat is every cat lover’s dream. I could upload a photo of myself with a brief, 15-word description, e.g., “Petite, late-middle-age brunette Cat Lady seeks a brown tabby to love and adore.” On the other side of the equation, a Cat Lady would respond with the instamessage: “Got one!” I haven’t figured out all the details yet, so please share your ideas with me. We Cat Ladies know that we are into enabling one another—via old-fashioned correspondence or apps, smartphones or websites, you name it—all on behalf of our beloved felines. Query of the Day: Will you participate in my Instacat IPO?

I Did It Again!

I have omitted the “Oops!” from the title of this post because I do not feel apologetic, and I would never want anyone to confuse me with Britney Spears (as if I am in danger of mistaken identity…).

I did it again can mean only one thing: I found a home for a cat in need. When my friend and colleague Marty casually mentioned that her sister Terry was missing having a cat in the house, I told Marty that I knew of a cat who wanted a home. In fact, Mordecai, a black cat living at Dr. O.’s clinic, had longed for a home his entire life. He had lived on the streets for four years and was rescued by Dr. O. two years ago. This handsome six-year-old cat was ready for some serious cohabitation with Marty and Terry. The Cat Lady prod (as opposed to the cattle prod) worked quickly and gently. Marty reports that Mordecai loves his new surroundings, and that she and Terry are in love with their new furry friend. He is not a lap cat—yet—but all signs indicate he will be heading in that direction any moment now. Never forget the Cat Lady’s tried-and-true formula: One person saving one cat makes a difference. Query of the Day: Do you like black cats as much as I do?

What If?

I haven’t reminisced about Tom for a long time. I hate to sound thoughtless, but I need to conserve my energy to focus on Tom’s progeny. To be clear, seven of the ten cats living at Catland were fathered by Tom.

I must thank the cat with the unoriginal given name, and with the biggest head I have ever seen on a feline, for getting me into this line of work.

Twelve years ago, Tom mated with so many female stray cats in the neighborhood that I couldn’t keep up with his bragging rights—and brag he did. Tom swaggered, too. Still, I managed to rescue and adopt his sister, Lillie, and their first litter of children: T.J., Perkins, and Miss Tommie. Then along came their second litter, Leo and Acorn. And then Linus and Alvar arrived at the back door, announcing themselves as the offspring of another one of Tom’s girlfriends. Ah, the “Tom gene.”

Tom disappeared one day, and we cherish the single photo of him that we took while he was reclining in our backyard on a typically scorching summer day. Tom was camera-shy, just as he dodged our efforts to trap him and have him neutered.

Given that Tom does not live on through numerous photographs of him, I could not believe the image I found recently when visiting the Friends of Life website. The “virtual cat” staring directly at me was Tom’s look-alike, and he goes by the name of Rocky Balboa.

Rocky’s pedigree indicates a track record that approximates Tom’s glory (and gory) days. Rocky is a street warrior, wearing his wounds prominently on his nose. In short, the blurb was sufficiently persuasive, and the timeline accompanying Rocky’s classification as an “adult cat” fell within the realm of possibility.

What if Tom were still alive and waiting for us to rescue him, at last? I am often in the vicinity of the Friends for Life shelter in Houston because some of my favorite antiques shops are nearby. Much as the web presentation featuring Rocky Balboa is convincing, I suspect that I will know definitively if Rocky is Tom only by visiting Friends for Life and seeing for myself.


Query of the Day: Should I go?

Pin Code for Cat Ladies

Perseverance. Perspicacity. Stick-to-it-tiveness.

These are all qualities that editors and Cat Ladies cherish. And I have found the perfect adornment for the editor and the Cat Lady to wear—not on her sleeve, but perhaps on the lapel of her blazer or suit jacket.

Check out this Victorian cat’s-head stickpin.

Meow…and ouch?

Query of the Day: Do you wear cat-themed jewelry?

Take No Prisoners, Only Strays

What Cat Lady wouldn't love the headline "Cat Got Your Brain" in today's New York Times? The "Loose Ends" column by Choire Sicha is written from the perspective of perceptive cats (aren't they all?), and it's overflowing with memorable one-liners.

I wonder why I think I hear Clint Eastwood reciting this particularly clever phrase:

"Take in more strays and no one gets scratched."

Let me go find my bullhorn....

Query of the Day: When you rescued your first stray, did you get scratched?

“Undercat”

Everyone loves the story of a triumphant underdog, and who fulfills that role better these days than the NBA’s virtually overnight superstar, Jeremy Lin, of “Linsanity” fame?

Reading recently about the hoopster’s on-court accomplishments made me think about the rather unflattering term of “underdog.” Would “undercat” be better?

If so, I nominate none other than Lucius as the world’s ultimate undercat. He’s got a great jump shot when it comes to leaping for treats. I also can vouch for his lovable insanity, as can Dr. O.’s prescription refills for his “kitty Prozac.”

Query of the Day: Who is your favorite undercat?

Tee Time or Meow Time, Take Your Pick

Do you suspect, as I do, that a Cat Lady conceived and directed the new TV commercial for Whiskas cat food?

The scene unfolds with a guy cuddling his tabby cat. Another guy is waiting for him in the wings, ready to hit the golf course as soon the cat-cuddle session concludes. The commercial's tagline is to the point: “Cat love. Get more.”

You got it! And tee time can wait.

Query of the Day: Do you keep dates waiting while logging more cuddle time with your cat?

Could Siri Be a Cat Lady?

When Dr. O. paid a house call recently, she needed to use her iPhone 4S. Dr. O. was hoping that Siri, the famous personal digital assistant, could give directions to the next house call. I challenged Dr. O. and asked if we could conduct a little test, to see if Siri could get into some cat talk on the spot. Is there anything that the much-hyped Siri can’t say or do?

If Siri and I become friends, I will instruct her to recite the following whenever an IPhone user calls to search for feline adoption agencies: “I’m very happy about this, and I can always take the request. I, too, am a Cat Lady.”

Query of the Day: Does Siri recognize your “cat voice”?

The Aloha Kitty

I love reading stories about cats who find their ways back home. I first came across this story when it was flagged as “breaking news,” about a week ago. I keep returning to this story because it is slightly different from the standard “Lost Cat Was Found” fare.

The owners had left their home with their cat named Madison Grace in tow. Along the rest stops between Hawaii and Tennessee—how’s that for a broad swath of land—kitty got loose in Michigan when she bolted from her carrier and ran from the car. Her devoted parents waited six hours, hoping their cat would return to the same spot from where she escaped. Leave it to a kind-hearted gentleman who volunteers for an animal-rescue shelter in Centerville, Ohio, to reunite Madison Grace with her rightful, transplanted owners. A microchip saved the day.

The reason I love this kind of story is that it encourages me to think about picking myself up and starting all over again. Young Madison Grace persevered, and no amount of snow, sleet, hail, or fleas deterred her. She kept her eye on the prize, and she was rewarded by her stamina and belief in all things good. She also resumed a healthy diet.

This week, I lost a dedicated colleague and dear friend. Cynthia was determined to fight her battle against cancer with tooth and nail, as she herself put it, and to be positive every day—no matter the considerable challenges. I also will remember Cynthia fondly for her love of cats. She gladly wore the moniker of “Cat Lady” and was one of the early followers of this blog. May Cynthia rest in peace, and may her children and beloved Kit (the cat) know that she set an inspiring example for this Cat Lady.

Cat Cam

I’ve just discovered the cheapest game in town for entertaining our cats.

I diverted Lucius from sitting on top of a stack of papers, as seen here, and placed him at the center of a flannel blanket on the kitchen countertop. He struck his cat pose, looking very comfortable knowing that he was, quite literally, the center of attention. I gently turned the blanket clockwise, making a complete, 360 circle, which gave Lucius the sense that he could watch me at all times.

Before this tale spins out of control, let me admit that I got the idea for the Cat Cam by watching the “Glam Cam” on the E! channel’s “Live from the Red Carpet” show that preceded the recent Golden Globes award ceremony.

I promise your cat will love the spin zone. Try it today!

Query of the Day: Would the Cat Cam work best on a red carpet?

Wham! Bam! Alakazam!

Let’s give a big hand to a Cat Lady’s favorite action figure—and first cousin—the one-and-only Catwoman!

I am indebted again to Kovels on Antiques and Collectibles newsletter, which this month touts the recent auction of Mego Corp.’s plastic “Superhero” collectibles. Leading the pack, naturally, was Catwoman, c. 1974, dazzling in her purple polyester suit and matching-purple removable boots and gloves. Apparently, Mego Corp. offered wardrobe variations after Catwoman was first introduced, but “purple power” proved to be popular and groovy in the mid=1970s. I remember the decade well. The fist-pumping verbiage on the accompanying package is a winner, too: “World’s Greatest Supergals!”

Catwoman sold for a super-hefty $2,349. Case closed. Not only do cats rule, but so do their ladies.

Query of the Day: Do you own a Catwoman Mego Supergal action figure?

Salad Days

Even though I’ve been a Cat Lady for more than a decade, I learn something new about cats every day.

Just yesterday, Cat Man's gout returned to haunt him. For some weird reason, my husband had a craving for an egg-salad sandwich and was convinced that the protein found in eggs would cure him of his Big Foot problem. I dutifully indulged his craving and delivered the sandwich to him at bedside. Suddenly, Lucius, Leo, L.B., and Linus appeared, meowing in unison, as if to say, “We, too, want egg-salad sandwiches”!

Cat Man wasn’t about to share, but the cats persisted. The full-court press went into effect, and I’ve never seen my husband eat so fast. “No, it’s mine," said the grown man with a gruff tone, and to think he usually plays well with all felines. “This is my sandwich. Go to your food bowls.”

Query of the Day: What ever happened to Cat Man’s salad days?

That’s Amore

Leave it to Lucius to like imported olive oil as a pick-me-upper in the morning. He is a cat of peculiar, and rather refined, tastes, and I should have known that, when I received a new year’s gift of hand-pressed olive oil from a vendor in Tuscany, Lucius would be ready to lap it up. If Lucius had an iPod, he would listen to “That’s Amore” while licking the saucer clean.

And then there is Perkins (pictured here). I knew she was not in top form recently because she has not been upwardly mobile, as has been her daily custom during the past eleven years. Instead of climbing the cat trees in the garage apartment, Perkins has been sitting quietly on a futon mattress on the living-room floor. Of our ten rescue cats, she is the only one who resists close contact with human beings, with the exception of Cat Lady.

I called Dr. O. today and requested a house call. The hisses and growls coming from Perkins’s tiny mouth upset even Dr. O. I volunteered that I had been giving Gerber baby food to Perkins for four days, because I thought she might have a digestive issue. Dr. O. responded that I had made the correct judgment call, and, I have to admit, four jars of chicken, beef, turkey, and ham baby food are infinitely more affordable than a senior cat’s work-up.

Still, I never want to neglect our cats, and I will rearrange our monthly household budget to the penny if it means identifying extra funds to properly diagnose and care for a sick cat. But I learned something very valuable today from Dr. O. It’s OK not to treat a cat if the cat truly won’t allow herself or himself to be treated. Deciding not to treat does not constitute gross neglect. This is a slightly unconventional concept to me, though the more I think about it—fully respecting a cat’s wishes—that’s amore, too.

Query of the Day: How do you cheer up a Cat Lady who is about to undergo surgery? Please join me in sending well wishes to Heather, one of my favorite Cat Ladies in the world.

Fat Cats

With all the talk about fat cats dominating the headlines, I can’t help but think of my own fat cats.

L.B. used to be our only fat cat, the chairman of the 1 percenters’ club devoted to feline gluttony. Doesn’t he look, well, beefy? Sort of Gingrichesque? Keeping him company now are Leo, Linus, and Alvar. What’s a Cat Lady to do to keep her kitties slim and trim?

There is no pork, literally, in the prescription-only, dietetic -maintenance dry food that I purchase each month for my fat-cat foursome. The Catland budget is increasingly lean when it comes to the line item for treats, and although L.B., Leo, Linus, and Alvar are fearlessly hungry at all hours, they have given up campaigning for extra portions of food whenever the mood suits them. Debating is not allowed; politely dissenting meows are tolerated on a limited basis.

An audit of Cat Lady’s joint 2010 tax returns with Cat Man will indicate that there are no offshore accounts for harboring funds with which to feed overweight felines. No, the buck stops at Catland, and my biggest resolution for 2012 is to transform four hefty cats into lightweights.

“Fat Cats No More” is our personal bumper sticker, but don’t be surprised if I write again soon that L.B., Leo, Linus, and Alvar are into some serious lobbying.

Query of the Day: Who’s your favorite fat cat?

Gimme [Stylish] Shelter

I did a little research to follow up on the intriguing “Cat Meowtel” arrow that pointed me to a delightful tidbit in yesterday’s New York Times magazine.

My new Number 1 Cat Lady in New York City is architect Kathryn Walton, founder of a nonprofit named The American Street Cat, Inc. She partnered recently with the Co Adaptive Architecture firm and won a competition among New York–area architects to create a winter home for stray cats. Very sadly, there are more than 10,000 strays that roam the streets of Manhattan.

The idea is an inspired one, and it’s gratifying to know that architects who often look to the sky to admire their achievements were content to keep their noses to the ground—all to protect and preserve the lives of cats needing shelter. The operative words for the competing architects were to build a shelter that was “warm, weatherproof, portable, and safe.”

What is especially neat about the winning design is its data-monitoring device. The shelter is constructed of recycled and donated materials (a 20-pound plastic tub filled with denim and moss) and comes equipped with a pressure sensor, an LED light, and a radio transmitter that lights up upon the entrance of a cat. A base station in the neighborhood receives information on the weight of the cat and the duration of his or her stay, then posts this information in real time on the Internet.

Back in the day when Cat Man and I were rescuing our now resident cats, we relied on our own harebrained schemes that somehow worked. If only we had had the knowledge, style, and high-tech savvy of Ms. Walton and her cat-loving comrades in the architecture and design fields.

Query of the Day: Even if Donald Trump is still considering a presidential bid, wouldn’t he make an even bigger impact building “cat meowtels” in every borough of the Big Apple?

Emerging from the Chrysalis

I rarely write about our cat Miss Tommie, who turned eleven recently. It’s not because I do not love her dearly. It’s because I have never been able to get too close to her, both literally and figuratively.

But something apparently happened when 2012 was ushered in this past Sunday. As fireworks filled the air, Miss Tommie must have made a new year’s resolution because she emerged from her chrysalis. And I’ve got the love bites on my neck to prove it.

What prompts a painfully shy and introverted cat—the runt of Lillie’s first litter—to step out and claim her place in the sun? For almost every day of the eight years that Miss Tommie has lived in our garage apartment with her mother, sister, and brother, she has sat placidly underneath a wooden breakfast tray, above which is a plastic stool positioned near a windowsill. Despite the barriers, I could always pet her, and I would always talk to her, but I could never hold her.

Now, Miss Tommie runs to me eagerly at her morning and evening feedings. She wants me to pick her up and cuddle her tightly. I don’t want to let go, although I may need to ask this previously gentle creature to stay clear of my neck.

I take Miss Tommie’s emergence as a positive sign for 2012, as an affirmation that old-fashioned patience can still be a virtue. As the saying goes, “All good things come to those who wait.”

Query of the Day: How do you cover up love bites?

Goodbye 2011, Hello [Kitty] 2012

May 2012 be proclaimed as "The Year of the Cat Lady"!

Wishing you and your kitties a happy, healthy, and humane new year.