Skating with the Felines

It’s time that Dancing with the Stars has some honest competition!

Check out L.B. ice-skating with his favorite partner, your very own Cat Lady.

Query of the Day: Do you like to shake (skate), rattle, and roll with your cats?

Cat Lady Camouflage

No worries! I have not done an about-face and gone undercover as a Cat Lady. Quite the contrary. I’m excited because I have a new business proposition.

When I awakened this morning, I noticed that I had a new set of scratch marks front and center on my right shoulder. I was more concerned than usual because with the heat and humidity ramping up here, it’s time to move to the sleeveless-only mode for work attire. Could I wear a shirtdress to the office without colleagues whispering that I may be addicted to something other than cats?

Wouldn’t it be great if the aestheticians at Lancome or Clinique would create a concealer specifically for camouflaging markings of the Cat Lady kind? I tried to apply my undereye concealer (the kind that gives that special raccoonlike effect) to cover the scratches, and then I used another concealer that is supposed to take the red out of mosquito bites, etc. But to no avail.

I know there is a brand named Physicians Formula, which is sold at drugstores and Target. Perhaps I can convince Dr. O. to market Veterinarians Formula. In response to our cats demonstrating their love in very intense ways, Dr. O. can cater to us, the Cat Ladies of the world who long only to wear their hearts on their sleeves, and to hide their kitties’ scratches.

Query of the Day: Do your cats scratch your back or other, more visible, body parts?

Strangers in the Night

I had to travel to Atlanta unexpectedly early this week when I received the sad news that my father was hospitalized. Happily, by the time I arrived in Atlanta, my father’s condition had stabilized a bit, and over the next few days he was able to benefit from an expanded system of support.

I knew that my abrupt departure from home would alarm our cats, and I worried that Lucius, in particular, would make me pay for my absence. But I had to tuck those thoughts away as I headed for Atlanta to be near my father’s bedside.

While in Atlanta, I was comforted not only by my mother and my brother, but also by my brother’s two cats, Squash and Mathis. They are elderly felines, and poor little Squash has great difficulty walking in a straight line. She also cannot jump like in the good old days of her youth. Mathis, on the other hand, still enjoys roaming outside and searching for chipmunks (so I have been told).

I am certain that both cats picked up on my vibes of feeling sad and discombobulated. They also seemed to know that I am a Cat Lady because on the first night that I slept in the guest bedroom of my brother’s house, Squash and Mathis found me. I was delighted to place Squash on the bed, and she promptly made a beeline for my chest, where she slept for most of the night. Mathis occupied a corner of the bed. I almost felt like I was at home again, if only there had been another eight cats encircling me.

I wish to thank Squash and Mathis, initially two strangers in the night, for watching over me protectively. They kept me company as I contemplated the fragility and unpredictability of life. I am a broken record, but I will repeat that people underestimate the perceptive powers of felines. I am grateful that Squash and Mathis trusted me to be attentive to them, and they returned the favor beyond measure.

Query of the Day: How do your cats know when you are facing tough times?

Service with a Smile

I had dinner the other night with my friend and colleague Ed, an art-book publisher who travels to Houston often. I tease him that he is the king of books in the great state of Texas because he has a knack for cornering the market in the museum-publishing world that exists in Austin, Dallas, and San Antonio as well as here in Houston. It is no wonder given Ed’s talents. Anyway, we went to Hugo’s, one of my favorite restaurants that serves authentic Mexican cuisine. The waiter approached our table with a friendly grin and introduced himself as Steve. He said, “I’ll be taking care of you tonight.”

I haven’t heard this touchy-feely phrase for some time, maybe because I tend to like self-serve restaurants or brunch buffets. But I laughed when I thought about bounding down the stairs of our house early each morning, and then up the stairs to the garage apartment, to announce to our ten cats—whose mouths are wide open in anticipation of their feeding ritual—“Hello, I’m your Cat Lady. I’ll be taking care of you this morning.” I could repeat this “taking care of you” phrase each evening, and I’m good to go with it for the rest of their lives.

Lucius et al. endorse repetition, unlike picky editors who query, “perhaps vary word choice to avoid repetition?” Serving our ten cats with a smile presents a different set of challenges than when I am at the office, serving the museum’s curators behind the scenes as an advocate for their respective voices. In both cases, though, I feel fulfilled and glad that my jobs depend on the desire to help others.

Query of the Day: Do you provide service with a smile to your cats? (It is OK to frown when you find hairballs.)

Miu Miu and Meow Meow

If I had a disposable income, I would be wearing this shoe around town to strut my stuff as a card-carrying Cat Lady. The designer Miu Miu introduced a feline-print black satin shoe on the spring runway, and I could own a pair of these spiffy pumps for a cool $585. Neiman Marcus, here I come. I wish.

There is something to be said for making a fashion statement as a Cat Lady, although I wonder if my cats would reject me upon sniffing my feet and realizing that I am not wearing my trusty Docksiders.

Of course, I like to think of my group as enlightened felines, and they might add “ooh-la-la” and “très chic” to their repertoire of meows.

Query of the Day: Do you advertise your Cat Lady status on foot?

Breaking News

My husband watches “Morning Joe” religiously, and he tells me that a staff writer and videographer for Politico was breaking news yesterday—news of a different kind. Patrick Gavin wasn’t covering a political scandal or uncovering a politician’s affair. He wasn’t gossiping about the media. Instead, he was “outing himself” as a Cat Lady. Apparently Mr. Gavin has nabbed the cover of a forthcoming issue of Cat Fancy.

The “Morning Joe” anchors dug deep, turning the tables on a journalist accustomed to dealing with the movers and shakers of the nation’s capital and to probing behind the scenes of the D.C. power structure. Mika and Joe asked Mr. Gavin to divulge the number of cats with whom he keeps company. My husband missed the “Big Reveal,” but I imagine that Mr. Gavin responded, “many,” or, at least, “a few.” Or is it possible to get the cover of Cat Fancy and live with one cat instead of multiples?

Query of the Day: Would you pose for Cat Fancy?

Those Paws Were Made for Walkin’

Did every Cat Lady exclaim “Say what?” when the news broke of Charles, a brown tabby cat who walked the 1,300 miles from his Albuquerque home to Chicago?

Charles disappeared from his home about eight months ago when his Cat Lady left to pursue volunteer work with Habitat for Humanity in New Orleans. Just last week, a staff member of the Chicago Animal Care and Control agency found Charles wandering the streets of the “City of the Big Shoulders,” as Carl Sandburg famously wrote. Because a tracking microchip was embedded between Charles’s shoulder blades, the agency was able to trace the cat to his Cat Lady in New Mexico. A kind-hearted cat lover and fellow resident of Albuquerque paid for Charles to return home in record time via the wings of American Airlines.

Among the amazing facts of this story is that Charles’s paws did not become calloused or dirty during his long and winding journey on foot. I keep hearing in my head a new version of “These Boots Are Made for Walkin’,” only now Nancy Sinatra (or Billy Ray Cyrus had a great version of the hit tune, too) sings about Charles and his apparently Teflon-strength paws.

I would love to meet Charles and congratulate him on his indomitable strength of spirit and his phenomenal physical endurance. I wonder if he knew somehow that, if he kept walking, he would cross paths eventually with a person who would walk the talk of a Cat Lady and whisk him to safety.

Here’s to you, Charles, and please: no more walkabouts!

Query of the Day: Have you ever lost your cat?